The Romance Thread
Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 18, 19, 20
 
   Forum Index -> Off Topic
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Harkimo
Emperor
Emperor


Joined: 10 May 2009
Posts: 7801

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 10:28 pm    Post subject:

You're afraid of birds? Really? That's surprising.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
SAOL
Emperor
Emperor


Joined: 14 Sep 2008
Posts: 23251
Location: Stockholm, Sweden

PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2014 7:07 pm    Post subject:

I was attacked by birds on Gotland once. Neutral I suppose it was rather traumatic. On a rational level, I'm not afraid, but I just can't help to react to sudden movements by birds.

Yesterday, for instance, I was walking on the square between the royal palace and the riksdag when two pigeons suddenly took flight a few metres to the right of me, on a path that would cross mine.

In front of all the tourists and the brave guards in shining armour my reaction was to jump a little, cover my head with my hands and go "IIIHHH". lol
_________________
Join
WWLLUASCLWPJ
We Who Loathe Long or Unnecessary Abbreviations and Similar Clusters of Letters Without Proper Justification

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Skype Name
President Washington
Saxon Cavalry
Saxon Cavalry


Joined: 27 Sep 2009
Posts: 1601

PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:40 am    Post subject:

What other secret neuroses do you have? lol What sort of birds were they?

Ice now broken, I have two separate (related) thoughts I've been thinking on a little. Wink The first is teacher-student romance. And may I ask, did you all ever have a crush on an adult as a minor? What were the circumstances? Because I seem to get them at such an alarming rate that it makes me suspect I'm a cougar-hunter instead of an ephebophile (like my last hysterical self-diagnosis).

The one woman in particular is my English teacher (senior year of secondary school), who I gradually warmed up to. I've never heard anybody say anything positive about her looks, but she's pretty young (maybe in her thirties?) and energetic, making her more or less an Aphrodite compared to all of the older, more wrinkly teachers one gets. Aside from that, though, I find her to be an interesting contrast to my own personality, and I take delight in undermining her class through snark.

Which led me to realize: I think I was flirting. I don't even really understand flirting on anything more than a cursory level, though on several occasions I have been accused of flirting when I was merely chatting with a friendly girl. One aspect of flirting I have more trouble with is teasing. For example, I had the misfortune one time of being situated between my romantic target (who, if you haven't already purged her from your memory, I used to call "Miss Trumpet" in this thread) and my friend, the latter of whom would constantly harass her by playing keep-away… and she'd enjoy it. On the other hand, I would have never thought to do that, because I would have considered it counterproductive. Y'know, that emphasis on niceness above fun that the meek tend to have.

So, this memory gave me a little revelation; while I originally began teasing my teacher out of spite for being in school, it kind of evolved into a way for me to express feelings of affection without crossing a social boundary.

As for my second thought, it's related to a book I'm reading in that same class: Atlas Shrugged. I assume that you all have read it, but if you haven't, the protagonist is a woman named Dagny Taggart who is basically just a Mary Sue of Ayn Rand who manages a train company. Dagny has little to no interest in social relationships, excels at her job, and cares about little but her libertarian values and material success. Later on, she encounters a man named Hank Rearden who is basically just a male version of herself, and they have an affair.

What occurred to me while reading was that I was as engrossed by Dagny's love life as I was by the philosophy and business intrigue in the book, and this was despite my reactionary views on gender relations and my usual disdain for romance literature. Why was I such a girl for this story?

I think the reason why is because I was yearning for my own Dagny. Not that exact character type, granted; a person who only cares about money would likely be insufferable. That kind of person, though, fascinates me. In the book a good deal is made of how Dagny can only be excited (romantically/sexually) by a man who she regards as an equal or superior, and one who holds very similar views to herself.

What I view as "similar" in my case doesn't necessarily mean being a libertarian/reactionary, but somebody who shares at least some of my basic worldview, like my defensive cynicism or utilitarian ethics, and by an equal I think of a woman with intellectual interests. And so far I've only encountered one who even seems close.

Surely there must be young intellectual women, given that all the old intellectual women came from somewhere. Why don't I see them, though? When I was in Mississippi I met a most remarkable boy who I considered to be my proper superior. At home there were a few boys I proudly regarded as intellectual rivals, but they had different attitudes that still made me feel unique. They were academically gifted, but they weren't intellectuals who find joy in study for study's sake. The boy I met there, who was named Ian, was such a person, but he had been homeschooled. He had all the advantages that I bitterly wished I had when I was sitting in classes beneath my capabilities.

Fairly recently I had started to feel more comfortable with the thought of approaching girls, but I also felt less desire to do so, because they had become boring. My beloved Miss Trumpet, who I had put on a pedestal for several years, I used to consider to be out of my league. But what could she provide me? A beautiful face? Just a blank canvas on which I could paint a vapid fantasy. Then there are the ones I fancied because they were nice. Well, they're nice to everybody. It's in their nature.

This is why despite her honestly not looking that good, and having a number of beliefs I find repugnant, I'm drawn to ole' Mallory (my first proper crush) and my teacher. They have brains.

I know the fact that I spent so much time writing this ramble probably makes me seem morose, or an Elliot Rodgers in the making, but I am mostly feeling good. I just thought it'd be healthy to see what some other people think about these thoughts that are going through my mind lately.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
SAOL
Emperor
Emperor


Joined: 14 Sep 2008
Posts: 23251
Location: Stockholm, Sweden

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:25 am    Post subject:

Quote:
What sort of birds were they?
Spoiler:



Quote:
And may I ask, did you all ever have a crush on an adult as a minor?
Nope.

Quote:
suspect I'm a cougar-hunter instead of an ephebophile (like my last hysterical self-diagnosis).
You can't "self-diagnose" yourself with ephebophilia, especially if you are a teenager. You can't say being a cougar-hunter is a diagnose either, it is at most an inclination towards people who are older than you.

Reading the rest I can't help but think that you're maybe over-analysing a little bit. Getting a romantic interest for your teacher is however of course not unheard of. I don't think it's a terribly good idea to pursue it though.

There actually was a girl in my brother's class who got into a sexual relationship with the teacher (I think some dealing over the grade was involved as well). She was 13 I believe, and it lasted almost a full year. Not good, obviously, and the teacher ended up in jail. What had actually happened didn't leak out to the rest of the school for a few years; but everyone was surprised when the teacher disappeared because he was generally appreciated and liked. I believe the official explanation was that he had quit for personal reasons. The girl ended up being quite traumatized.

Quote:
As for my second thought, it's related to a book I'm reading in that same class: Atlas Shrugged. I assume that you all have read it...
I actually haven't, but obviously it is a book I know of. To be honest I'm quite surprised the teacher would pick such a heavily politicized book for English class.

Quote:
Surely there must be young intellectual women, given that all the old intellectual women came from somewhere. Why don't I see them, though?
Maybe you aren't looking at it the right way?

Quote:
Fairly recently I had started to feel more comfortable with the thought of approaching girls, but I also felt less desire to do so, because they had become boring.
That settles it: time to let out your inner bisexual lol

Quote:
This is why despite her honestly not looking that good, and having a number of beliefs I find repugnant, I'm drawn to ole' Mallory (my first proper crush) and my teacher. They have brains.
I'm wondering: when you say you are fascinated by the idea of an intellectual equal like in the book, are you really fascinated by the idea of someone who conforms to and confirms your own world view?

Perhaps and probably, most of them don't. If it is intellect you are actually looking for, the difference in opinion might even be a plus. How else would that intellect be exercised?
_________________
Join
WWLLUASCLWPJ
We Who Loathe Long or Unnecessary Abbreviations and Similar Clusters of Letters Without Proper Justification

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Skype Name
President Washington
Saxon Cavalry
Saxon Cavalry


Joined: 27 Sep 2009
Posts: 1601

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:21 pm    Post subject:

#1. That's disappointing; I was expecting some kind of small hawk.

#3. Eh, that part was meant to be humorous. Reason why I associate with ephebophilia is because of my... unconventional views on age of consent laws (that they ought to be lowered to 14 or so) and because I have a preference for girls about that age. Physically, at any rate. At the same time, though, I've never been as picky about age as my peers. I'd say it's probably just a case of being more open-minded and less concerned about social standards (though I keep both of those opinions to myself).

Over-analysis is my main pastime. lol And, quite possibly, the source of half my misery. My tendency to over-analyze is just an integral part of my personality and a good deal of why I've always excelled in school, but then it occasionally leads to bouts of brooding like what motivates posts such as these.

Of course I don't intend to pursue my teacher (out of respect for her), and because of stories like the one you shared.

#4. I'm surprised too. She's justified it in the past by saying that it's a really long book that's good for long-term reading (she can teach on it over the course of a year), but I suspect that it's because of the controversy that she uses it: it opposes conventional morality, forcing her class to think more (or to read the SparkNotes...). Of course there are many philosophers far more edgy than Ayn Rand (Ragnarr Redbeard and Friedrich Nietzsche come to mind), but not them.

#5. I don't see how. See, I don't actively spout off minutiae, but if you were to ask any of my classmates to describe me they would probably mention my (intellectual) knowledge. After all, you inevitably learn about a person's interests just by being around them.

Now I know a great many academically-gifted girls, but that's the thing: they were focused on academics, not intellectual studies. I'm sure you've known many smart people who could pull high grades in their honors classes, but they didn't care about any of it.

Among boys I have seen some promise. They tend to be a lot more limited in their scope or understanding, but I've met quite a few boys who have an interest in things like Ancient Rome and politics. But girls don't seem to.

#6. LOL. I've considered it. I have a sympathy for gays since they've found a way to satisfy their romantic and sexual desires while cutting women out of the equation.

#7. No, the former. I said that there must be some similarities because, otherwise, I would think it would be hard to sympathize with their views. To connect with them spiritually. As far as their opinion on policies go, I don't care, and you're right that would be a plus.

Some of the most obnoxious people I've discusses politics with were on my own side. Besides that we were both preaching at the choir, they tended to use very simplistic, ineffective arguments and/or would show little respect to the opposing side. I had one friend who was big into gun rights who tended to fall back on lame cliches like "Guns don't kill people, people do", instead of statistical/rational arguments. Or there's my Pa, who is a decent debater but who has no respect for the Left.

The best debate I ever had was with a friend of mine who was, among other things, arguing that Japan was justified in WW2 (he'd been fed a lot of misinformation and school and was a strong Jap nationalist due to his being an anime fan). He wasn't the smartest tool in the shed, but he was very polite and earnest and was a delight to talk to. By contrast, the worst conversation I had was with this angry asshole who threatened to hit me when I said something critical about Abraham Lincoln and thought he was much smarter than he really was...

Ack, that was a big digression. Point is, I honestly am interested in an intellectual equal regardless of their political opinions. Generally speaking its not fun to be friends/lovers with somebody diametrically opposed to you, but neither is it fun to be stuck in an echo chamber. One of my favorite forums for discussing politics on is explicitly for right-wingers, but within that category falls libertarians, conservatives, theocrats, fascists, Nazis, anything you can imagine, as long as they agree that the modern world is corrupt and that equality is a fundamentally bad thing. That way they all have something uniting them, but with enough freedom to stoke interesting conversation.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
SAOL
Emperor
Emperor


Joined: 14 Sep 2008
Posts: 23251
Location: Stockholm, Sweden

PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 5:07 am    Post subject:

Quote:
That's disappointing; I was expecting some kind of small hawk.
They're large enough; they have a wingspan of 90 cm or so, and those beaks aren't nice to get torpedoed by.

Quote:
unconventional views on age of consent laws (that they ought to be lowered to 14 or so)
The age of consent is 15 in Sweden. It's obviously a somewhat problematic line to draw.

Quote:
She's justified it in the past by saying that it's a really long book that's good for long-term reading
That's a pretty poor justification. There are plenty of long books of significantly bigger literary importance and value. But who knows, perhaps she intends to close off the year with the communist manifesto; something short and snippy for contrast. Rolling Eyes

Quote:
I've met quite a few boys who have an interest in things like Ancient Rome and politics. But girls don't seem to.
Perhaps though they have other academic interests? And no one interested in politics? Really? Didn't you say a while back Mallory was talking rather a lot of it?

Quote:
I have a sympathy for gays since they've found a way to satisfy their romantic and sexual desires while cutting women out of the equation.
I don't think that's the point, but fair enough. Rolling Eyes
_________________
Join
WWLLUASCLWPJ
We Who Loathe Long or Unnecessary Abbreviations and Similar Clusters of Letters Without Proper Justification

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Skype Name
President Washington
Saxon Cavalry
Saxon Cavalry


Joined: 27 Sep 2009
Posts: 1601

PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 8:55 pm    Post subject:

[quoteThe age of consent is 15 in Sweden. It's obviously a somewhat problematic line to draw.[/quote]

Which is something I admire in Europe (lower age limits for everything). The US being as puritanical as it is, most of our states still have 18 years as the age of consent, and many don't even include Romeo and Juliet laws to protect, say, 19-year-olds having sex with their 17-year-old lovers.

Quote:
That's a pretty poor justification. There are plenty of long books of significantly bigger literary importance and value. But who knows, perhaps she intends to close off the year with the communist manifesto; something short and snippy for contrast. Rolling Eyes


I'd say it's probably balanced out by almost everything else we read, which tends to be of a Leftist bias. I don't try and read bias into everything either, but you can only read so many feminist essays before you start to suspect that the teacher (or people who wrote the curriculum) have an agenda.

Quote:
Perhaps though they have other academic interests? And no one interested in politics? Really? Didn't you say a while back Mallory was talking rather a lot of it?


Er… see, I kind of recognize a difference between academic and intellectual pursuits. The academic kids are the kind who will study hard to ace a quiz, but they will never pick up a book for themselves. They will forget everything the moment it's no longer useful. They're basically just practical people. A worker, for example, can work hard while not enjoying his job. On the other hand, many intellectual people have been poor at academics because they ignore subjects which don't interest them. Frankly, I find the former to be quite shallow.

Among boys and girls alike I rarely see a spark of interest, of caring, about anything like politics, history, philosophy, art, etc. They are even more apathetic than the rednecks who fiddle with cars and electronics, as even they have a purpose, and a very productive one at that.

For the most part, girls seem interested only in fiction books, whereas I've noticed a somewhat broader range among boys.

Also, I did mention Mallory: as an exception. She's still the most interesting girl I know. Er, well, there was an Indian chick who used to flirt with me who was very gifted. I'd say that she was more of an "academic" than "intellectual" type, but her ambition and talent very much impressed me. She's worth my affection, but she's graduated by now. lol

Quote:
I don't think that's the point, but fair enough. Rolling Eyes


I know it was a joke, which is why I said "LOL". That was just a side point. It's comfortable to be around men. In fact, I'd even say I'm liked/respected by my fellow male. I've heard boys talking about me being funny (as in, comic, not weird) and some have complimented me on traits like honesty, but I swear that when I speak to most girls, they look at me with disdain. I don't know why.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
SAOL
Emperor
Emperor


Joined: 14 Sep 2008
Posts: 23251
Location: Stockholm, Sweden

PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:19 pm    Post subject:

Quote:
and many don't even include Romeo and Juliet laws to protect, say, 19-year-olds having sex with their 17-year-old lovers.
We don't have such a law either. It doesn't always mean trouble, but it has happened that couples with just a few months age difference where one is on the wrong side of the fence have engaged in... as consensual sex you can have at that age only to end up in court with a negative outcome. The older one will forever carry a note about having raped a child on their criminal record, which is obviously not a good thing.

The age of consent as well as other age limits are obviously tricky questions as you are dealing with individuals developing at different speeds. In itself that could be considered an argument for higher age limits, as it would assure more people are 'over the hump'.

Quote:
I've heard boys talking about me being funny (as in, comic, not weird) and some have complimented me on traits like honesty, but I swear that when I speak to most girls, they look at me with disdain. I don't know why.
What does it really matter what people think of you on a superficial level though?
_________________
Join
WWLLUASCLWPJ
We Who Loathe Long or Unnecessary Abbreviations and Similar Clusters of Letters Without Proper Justification

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Skype Name
President Washington
Saxon Cavalry
Saxon Cavalry


Joined: 27 Sep 2009
Posts: 1601

PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 1:03 am    Post subject:

Quote:
We don't have such a law either. It doesn't always mean trouble, but it has happened that couples with just a few months age difference where one is on the wrong side of the fence have engaged in... as consensual sex you can have at that age only to end up in court with a negative outcome. The older one will forever carry a note about having raped a child on their criminal record, which is obviously not a good thing.

The age of consent as well as other age limits are obviously tricky questions as you are dealing with individuals developing at different speeds. In itself that could be considered an argument for higher age limits, as it would assure more people are 'over the hump'.


It seems to me that some sort of emotional maturity test would be better than a law, but there is no reason why we need the law anyways when a low, basic level would be sufficient. Besides, modern First World civilization produces huge numbers of men-children. Trying to keep maturity away from young people seems much more difficult and less rewarding than just teaching that maturity in the first place. Our ancestors 200 years ago didn't care about an "age of consent" as long as it was within marriage.

Quote:
What does it really matter what people think of you on a superficial level though?


Well, a rational answer would be that if people like me it may well make my life easier, but aside from that, humans are social. Aside from the true schizoids, we all feel some desire for acceptance. Personally I prefer just not being around people in general (they can be very entertaining, but I'd usually rather not bother), but I feel social pressure anyways when I am around them. At least I don't bend to it much, though; I've never suppressed my thoughts or preferences to suit others.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
SAOL
Emperor
Emperor


Joined: 14 Sep 2008
Posts: 23251
Location: Stockholm, Sweden

PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 7:13 am    Post subject:

Quote:
It seems to me that some sort of emotional maturity test would be better than a law,
It wouldn't, for the simple reason that it would be impossible to carry out in practice. Plus, would you want to go to some office to carry out a sexual maturity test? Maybe get a little licence or badge? lol

Quote:
Trying to keep maturity away from young people seems much more difficult and less rewarding than just teaching that maturity in the first place.
The issue with young people is that they think they are a whole lot more mature than they actually are. It's only once you grow older you realise how immature you actually were. Maturity isn't something you can simply teach either, as it is intertwined with the growth of the brain. That's why adults get to make calls like this. It's not out of spite, but because they want the best for their children.

Quote:
Our ancestors 200 years ago didn't care about an "age of consent" as long as it was within marriage.
Of course they did. You couldn't marry at any age for starters. Of course people had opinion on old men marrying very young girls. Sometimes it was the only way for people to survive and get fed, however. And as life expectancy was lower, people had to get started a little earlier.

Just because something has been a particular way doesn't mean it should be that way, or that there are other, better ways of doing things.

Quote:
Well, a rational answer would be that if people like me it may well make my life easier,
Fair enough. I don't think it takes much work to get people to listen to you or help you if you want; just listen to them when they speak and be kind in general.
_________________
Join
WWLLUASCLWPJ
We Who Loathe Long or Unnecessary Abbreviations and Similar Clusters of Letters Without Proper Justification

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Skype Name
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum Index -> Off Topic All times are GMT
Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 18, 19, 20
Page 20 of 20

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group | Page design by Tilanus Commodor & michfrm.