USA 2016
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Who would you vote for?
Donald Trump
9%
 9%  [ 2 ]
Ted Cruz
14%
 14%  [ 3 ]
John Kasich
9%
 9%  [ 2 ]
Hillary Clinton
23%
 23%  [ 5 ]
Bernie Sanders
42%
 42%  [ 9 ]
Total Votes : 21

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caveman909
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 8:58 am    Post subject:

If the Senate doesn't make any compromise, is it the President's fault or the Senate?

As we saw with Obama's administration, when the Senate had a Republican majority, their only goal was to block constantly his main plans...

This is not what I call "compromise", and sadly Republicans (as Democrats) should understand that you can't play the "angry guy that always says no" everytime when a plan is proposed. Sure, you can have your opinions, but sometimes you gotta think for the Americans first, and not for your own godamn head/ideology.
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UnstoppableStreletsy
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 10:45 am    Post subject:

It goes beyond that. If you had a radical muslim socialist running your country wouldn't you find it essential to block him from doing anything. All Obama wants to do is break up what makes America unique and replace with a pro shariah socialist nation where clinton is supposed to finish the reform. Obama did not become our president for any good reason and he was forced into office by a couple of liberal jews who want money. It was planned for many years by Obama's father that he would become president and turn the U.S into a pro islamic nation which has done a good job at. Your lucky we do not impeach the traitior or even charge him with a crime like he deserves.
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caveman909
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2016 5:27 am    Post subject:

But what about the Lizard Aliens? You can't talk about US politic conspiracies without mentioning them, c'mon! Everyone knows how much they worked hard with the EI for world domination, and their politic agenda is quite cloudy. I'm sure they have things in common with the Spaghetti Monster group though, but nothing yet made it clear enough to arrest all of them.


Wait, what? lol
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Orwell
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2016 9:15 pm    Post subject:

What about the Secret World Government? The Illuminati?

Anyhow yeah I mean you could say it's the Senate's fault, I agree, but we have to deal with that, as like on most positions they seem to have no plan to change.

And this returns me to one point, what the Democratic party needs is more down-ticket work, I mean no matter who wins it won't matter because Republican congress, we really need to see more down-ticket funding in this cycle and I am happy to see that Hillary is doing that. Though of course this doesn't effect the greatest problem which is that young democrats don't show out enough for congress elections, only presidential.
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UnstoppableStreletsy
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2016 10:12 pm    Post subject:

Trust me i already know about reptilians. I wrote a 42 page unfinished book on one in microsoft word. I can paste into this forum if you want to read. It is pretty good.
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2016 12:25 am    Post subject:

I'm done here! This is too good
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 12:05 am    Post subject:

The Theory of Adam.docx
How do you get this into a post?[/list]
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 1:18 am    Post subject:

Copy past I guess? And has this Presidential Debate thread rally devolved to lizard people?
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 2:01 am    Post subject:

here you go then, a copy and pasted theory of adam novel 42+ pages long:
This book is literally 42 pages in Microsoft word font 22. Note all names in story are of unreal people. It is about the lizard people and American politics. If I could i would have put it here in word doc form.
Chapter 1
The Rise of Adam




1.
What does it mean to be the needy? What does it mean to be handicapped? What does it mean to be weak? What does it mean when people feel sorry for someone. Well since these questions have been asked here are some more to lead into the conspiracy theory ahead. What does it mean to deceive? What does it mean to be a fraud? To what degree is faking weakness and handicaps a crime the people of the united states to overthrow a tyrant as stated by our founded fathers? Well readers It is time to learn the biggest act of corruption and political misconduct in U.S history. The infamous Adam Benicaiso committed against humanity? Is it an obligation of it. The crime was a betrayal of the American people and especially the residents of eastern Massachusetts but we cannot forget how his crimes damaged the rest of America in a way that was so bad Obama now looks like Ronald Reagan. 2.
Before we can understand how the clever Political expert Jonathan Petani took down this crook and exploited the coup he installed in our fair and firm belief of the needy of our country, we must understand when and how this tyrant corrupted the minds of young Americans. The take over of Adam’s fraud began about 2-3 years ago. He disguised himself as a poor boy with a disability who could not function well in a conversation. In reality he employed unfair tactis of fraud and deception where he got his reforms such as the popularity of the youtube channel rooster teeth by using such tactics. He did this by saying a sentence such “Markiplier is?” so people would think he is oblivious to what is going on but in reality he knew what he was doing and was just trying to set up stereo types of youtube channels in young Americans minds by playing stupid again and again. Some bright minds knew what he was doing and were afraid to speak up to the Adam movement because they faced capital punishment of having to listen to a conversation with adam for 48 minutes, a proven way of losing one’s mind even more effective than Chinese water torture. He would also pretend to not hear what is said if he did not agree or say “what” like he is as deaf as a 90 year old grandma. This way he could create bias in conversations to endorse stupid death battles and youtube channels that normaly did not get much subscribers but now they do since they payed off Adam to get them into the spot life. This totaltarian regime of rooster teeth domination with Adam as the dictator prevented the people from voicing their opinion of which youtube channels were actually good and not propaganda from the state that Adam has forced the American people to believe. Some poor Hopkinton families faced execution for opposing Adam and his special guard called the red roosters who arrested 15 people per day. Adam would hold pep rallies every week where thousands of brainwashed children and adults alike prayed to rooster teeth and to Adam calling them the supreme beings of the universe. Obama did try to send the army to kill Adam and his red rooster guards but Adam made a deal with Iran and North Korea where he received 15 nuclear missles in return for doing damage to the United States with propaganda in cooperation with the makers of rooster teeth’s videos. Children in makeshift “rooster teeth universities” were forced to watch laser team a common movie from rooster teeth each day and recite the three prayers to adam on a alter “ we shall not watch markiplier, we shall not watch other channels, we shall treat Godzilla as more important than jeb bush”. Even when the red roosters are not patrolling the streets of new England towns, you never know where adam himself is. You see he is not actually a human and is infact a reptilian who can move at a speed of 954 mph in his lizerd form and can climb 80 feet in half a second. He often says hi to those around him does not stop for a conversation “ the poor people saw this as his inattention but this was actually his spying tactics and could easily hear all conversations around him with ease. When he catches someone instead of saying “markiplier is” he says “do you watch the walking dead” and puts his reptilian tongue through your brain and turns you into the most feared slave race known in the galaxy, a Andersen. Andersens are lowly creatures who have intense concentrations of salt in their bloodstream and therefore cannot be left in public. They are either put in Smash 4 zoos where they are forced to play 8 player smash 24 7 for civilians who visit the zoo or they are put to work in the salt mines because since they are 99% sodium they can stand more salt than anyone else but also emit it through the air in the form of radio waves. Adam says sorry often to think he is merciful to his enemies but in reality he is a cold blooded reptile fascist who is slowly consuming the human race if his new religion spreads to other continents. This government worked for 3 years with no revolutions or acts of civil protest. However in February 2016, people got educated and began to learn just what shadows covered their peers and some of these men were ready to create a second revolutionary war in America.



7.

Chapter 2. Americas Founding Fathers are now Grandfathers


What does it mean to be a founding father? What does it mean to be a founding mother? What does it mean to be human and what does it mean to be reptilian? What is life like to be a Andersen when you are so salty in smash? Would it make you proud of your country to know that the image that got people through the anti Adam revolution was bernie sanders head on smash dlc bayonetta? To be clear not every person during this dark time in our history was as clueless as a liberal democrat voting for Hillary Clinton (a man that is not as handsome as Bernie) or Ron Paul (really if you were the worst candidate for 2012 and 2016 why don’t you just go in the salt mines with the Andersens). Those who were raised into the Benicaiso culture were born from Eastern Massachusetts. If you were born in the central or western part of the state that made you a immigrant and were not tied to live in the dictatorship since you can have dual citizenship. While the influence of Adam’s evil extended through the entire state, in some sections the local government was able to arm the peasants against Adam s army of red roosters and enslaved Andersen militias (andersens by the way looked identical and were named with numbers such as 2.1 or 3.14) who could salt their enemies to death with salt shakers. One immigrant originating from the capital of anti adam America Worcester grew up in the regime and for many years and for a long time trusted adam as a good president who only wanted to protect the people from not rooster teeth videos and horrible death battles. As this immigrant grew older he got his education back in his homeland and read about the atrocities committed in the small village of Hopkinton. So this immigrant decided to visit this village to see if Adam was really oppressing the inhabitants. It was Adam’s 3954th birthday that day and his scales started to shed. All right I think it is a safe enough time to tell you who this immigrant is instead of being secretive. He is oh you guessed it Jonathan Petani the liberator himself before he even thought of trying to challenge the state. In the village he noticed it looks like larger buildings than you would expect in a village as well as a few grass huts in the center of town. Apparently Hopkinton is a actual town and those grass huts were the “village of Hopkinton” and were a attempt in the 1960’s to integrate blacks into Hopkinton by building a village outside of Hopkinton that would place them in their natural habitat style like Africa because if people still live there they must getting eaten by lions and getting Ebola or else they would have left the continent like the rest of humans did. Jon decided to visit the pet store in the center of town. They had all kinds animals like dogs, cats, fish and even left over andersens and mcmuras (a inferior type of reptilian that did have deception skills and the ability to win against andersens in smash 4 but were rather clumsy and sodium packed when they face defeat like andersens do). A kid near Jon tried to touch an andersen in its cage since that one lost in 8 player smash against the better but still barely better andersens in the cage. Jon warned the kid that trying to twist an andersen’s arm like he was doing would cause a punch reflex from the Andersen and if you tried to twist its punch then it will arm you. When a Andersen “arms” you that hmeans it forces its elbow into a persons mouth or other opening and releases its salt into your body most likely causing cardiac arrest and in some cases turning the victim into a Andersen. Jonathan decided he should buy a Andersen to work in his salt mine. The shop owner had many andersens to choose from. There was that one Andersen isolated in the cage. He looked a little scratched up. Jon asked why that Andersen had wounds, and the owner said that Andersen picked a fight with a mcmura called max. They did smash 4 together in a cage and when the Andersen lost (max is obviously the smarter animal) Andersen tried to salt max to death. He tried to insert his salt into max’s ear canal with his tongue but max had his lucky wii remote charm and claimed it was not lucky so he sharpened it suddenly and then it became a handy makeshift knife he should slash at the Andersen with. The slashing worked and the Andersen ran to a corner and whimpered. From hearing this news Jon thought that he should buy that the wounded Andersen because he knew he was weak and whimpered when struck by its master. It cost $5 a cheap price for andersens and Jon was on his way. Jon got to witness one of Adam’s pep rallies in the center of town where Adam was instructing children 8-10 to watch rooster teeth 23 hours of the day and 1 hour devoted to planning to find and kidnap markiplier for ransom. Every time a kid asked a question that contradicted Adam he would respond with “I cant hear you” and when you say it louder “can you speak up” and got closer as if he was 100 and lost his hearing 20 years ago. Jon thought to himself “what a biased prick”. Andersens could understand and express language. Jon says to his new Andersen “ when we get back home you are going right to work in the salt mines because there is no time for freedom for such inferior mongrels”. Jon thinks of a name to call his new Andersen and then says to the Andersen “Why don’t I call you Andersen because obviously coming up with a 4 digit code for your name might make me use my brain for once and I do not feel like it”. Jon was immediately stopped by a Red Rooster and Jon’s response was “what seems be the problem chicken”. The red rooster officer reminds Jon that only roosters have teeth but chickens do not (Jon knows roosters are just male chickens so you can get the joke he just made). The Red Rooster says “you are forgetting something sir” and Jon says “what did I forget, I didn’t watch Markiplier during my stay and I put 5 mexican pesos in the gaint adam statue”. The Red Rooster says “you forgot to say your three prayers on the alter after reaching the center of town”. Jon says “but I am a atheist ofc and do not pray to biased prick’s that go by the name of adam benicasio or Burnie Burns” and the Red Rooster says your under arrest you Markiplier watching infidel and Allahu Akbar to you” (when did adam and rooster teeth team up with the muslim brotherhood might you ask, well a year ago from this confrontation the muslim brotherhood payed adam 45 trillion dollars to put verses of the quran in his pep rallies to make a super religon merging rooster teeth, islam, shaminism, and Adamianity (Christianity without the Christ or the god but with the biased prick reptilian we all know and love). Jon immediately yells “Andersen Bite” because he knows that Andersens have 5 commands: turn on wii u, tell this guy that super smash bros infinite is infact a game, bite, sit, roll over. The pet Andersen Immediately lunged at the Red Roosters and literally ripped the officers’s throat open in seconds with its sharp pure salt crystal teeth, and three nearby officers saw the mauling take place. Because the type of damage the Andersen inflicted on the red rooster, he was unable to say that Jon was a outlaw and the officers thought that the Andersen may have contracted rabies if a uncareful owner let its Andersen escape into the woods. This meant Jon could casually walk away while the officers attack the savage Andersen with water tazers (instead of electricity that makes andersens stronger due to its ionic bonds and instead shoots water which will solute the salt that makes up a Andersen and turn it into thin air” and after 3 minutes of biting, scraching, a salting the Andersen was dissolved. This conflict convinced Jon that Adam was too powerful and had to stop to kill Adam either on his own or by the support of the people. But who would help him if the populace was under the control of Adam? Jon decides he should leave this horrible place we call Hopkinton and go back to somewhere more civilized. Hopkinton over the past few months had a few riots between protesters, and red roosters but everytime the people rebelled, the roosters sent out the andersens to attack the crowds causing them to flee. Pg 16
Time to Recruit some people to kill the Murdering Lizard Adam



What does it mean to hate the Adam. What does it mean to go against the Adam. Is it possible to Fight the Adam. Is this guy really sure he wants to face the Adam. Who will help in the fight against the Adam. How big of a army does the Adam have to defend his dictatorship for future generations of brainwashed Americans. As Jon searches the area of Hopkinton for potential allies he can’t stop thinking about if he is really willing to kill the most powerful reptile in the world. He knows that he has killed 10 billion people in 1 week and did so much damage, the scientists from rooster teeth had to reproduce the next offspring of humans to deal with each extinction adam creates. But he also knows the other side of Adam the people have come to love. You know reptilians do not have a gender as they have both parts of both sexes. Adam could be a evil man but the most beautiful woman in the world at the same time. When Jon was about 15, he used to think about the good he thought Adam was doing. This now brought a flashback into Jon’s mind about a poster he recently saw of Adam dancing to support a local kill a subscriber to Pewdiepie on YouTube day. When Jon thought about the poster he envisioned it right before his eyes. And when I see her dancing Wanna take a chance in Get in a little closer And maybe get to know her to see if it is true that the Adam (I am going to start using “The” in front of Adam so the flaming queers don’t sue me or worse because u know how op pcp is today) was a beatiful human/lizard and not just a ugly thing that looks like the pruned Andersen after it got water tazed. After some thinking, Jon concluded that Adam had to die a slow painful death. Jon heard of a good smash 4 player named Andrew that could help him. He found his house and Andrew answered the door. Jon says “hi I am Jon and I heard you know Adam is a biased prick scaly lizard thing you just wanna squeeze like a 5 inch frog and suck the life out of it”. Andrew responds with “ya that sounds about right and I will help you on two conditions”. Jon asks what these conditions are. Condition one is pretty obvious and that is Jon will actually succeed in killing Adam or at least attempt to make a mockery of his name. Andrew said “condition two is more difficult, you see many years ago I was the president of the games club at our high school and we had to cut short the time at the club for one of the weeks so me being a good person tells everyone “why don’t we finish the club at my house” and the people agree to this idea but the trouble comes when the 38 people at games club came to my house and played smash 4 till the normal time the club ends, and then before you know it I have 38 squatters taking up control of my house for 6 years and take control of my whole house, I tried to tell them to leave and stop playing smash 4 for 24 hours a day but they will not listen and there are some really salty ones called cam and zach that threaten to kill and eat my pet Andersen if I tried to cause trouble, oh how I hate cam and zach for sucking at smash so much and not only that, the salt in their blood stream is close to that of a Andersen, so what you have to do is get the games club squatters who have never bathed for 6 years out of my house and get them away from my wiiu and my Andersen”. That shortened day at games club was no ordinary day. The people at games club had a riot at the club because it ended at 2:45 instead of 3:30 like usual. Andrew told them that they should force the Adam to give the club enough money to stay open later. They got to work hacking wiiu’s used by the andersens in the cages. Adam saw this as a threat to his empire since the people who visit the Andersen zoos cannot be entertained when the wiiu’s keep getting hacked. Adam called for marital law. He ordered the crucificition of all smash bros brawl players to show his anger. Adam made a speech on the news channel saying “Hey Andersen, give me some food before my beat the sodium chloride out of ya, anyways you saw the slow deaths of the brawl players hackers, and if you do not stop interfering in the Andersen smash tourneys, the smash 4 and melee communities will be next. Andrew even came up with the idea to have the club at his house to save his own skin from the government under the Adam. Back to the current situation, Jon had to figure out how to get the games club squatters out of Andrews house. The first thing to do was examine the area inside the house. The people seem to be congregated in the living room and kitchen playing 8 player smash. The pet Andersen is hiding in the closet from the squatters who abuse the animal when they are angry. It would not make sense to just order the Andersen to bite since it would only take 10 or so seconds for one of the squatters to fill the glass with water and pour it on the Andersen causing its face to melt off literally into a gooey salt compound. Even if Jon and Andrew assisted the Andersen they would be outnumbered 3 to 38. There was only one option and one option only, Buy many mcmuras and Andersen’s at the pet store to have sizable force to rout the squatters or eat them if need be. By the time Andrew and Jon reached the pet store they realized they were broke. Andrew thought of a solution, just climb up the Adam statue in the center of town and get a net to catch all of the Mexican pesos that people donated. The plan worked and they used a ladder to get to the bucket that had the pesos on the statue. However Jon looked behind him and saw the Adam watching them and says “Hey Andersen, get over here you mangy mutt and look at this, We got a couple of crooks stealing money that was going to go to charity to feed the poor rooster teeth subscribers in Milford”. Jon responds with “Hey look Andrew, its that biased prick dinosaur thingy that turns people into those salty dog things that can’t main sheik how sad”. Andrew says “And I thought Marss was a noob, this lizard is a even bigger screb”. Adam replies with “Well you know the rules of this empire, you break a law I stalk you with my bloodshot eyeballs, second time you break a law then you get capital punishment so you better leave this nation at your convenience sir”. Then before Jon or Andrew could reply, that lizard and its Andersen disappeared. So the fight for Andrews house was ready to commence once Andrew and Jon bought all of the andersens and mcmuras money could buy. Jon ordered the andersens to “bite” and Andrew ordered Max to lead the other mcmuras into battle inside Andrews house. The games club squatters are famous for being able to kill any intruders that will interrupt 8 player smash (zach is clearly a exception to this rule). When Cam saw andersens charging at him he was quick to get the wii u game pad and use it as a shield. Max commanded the mcmuras to sharpen their wii remotes to the point of being razor sharp. The squatters found as many wii remotes as possible to use as their own swords and zach took the nunchuk and made it into the shape of a dagger to have thrusting power. Andersens began mauling games club squatters alive and the andersens had 8 more of themselves than the games club did. Zack and Cam with all their salt were the best warriors and slayed Andersen after Andersen. Max tried to take on Cam. Max’s sword broke the screen of the game pad (Andrew almost fainted upon seeing it happen) and Cam then used the moment to behead Max with his own wii remote. The mcmuras began to lose moral. The squatters lit the batteries in their 3ds’s on fire and tossed them at the andersens. The explosion killed 8 andersens and a mcmura. After 5 minutes of slashing and melee combat, 3 andersens and 5 mcmuras remained but the only enemies still alive were cam, and zach. A mcmura tried to break cams shield by hitting it with his blade but it hit the inner wires of the pad causing electricity to spark out and conduct electricity when it mixed with cam’s ionic bonds in the salt he had throughout his body. Cam had electrical powers and used them to let out a lightning strike that fried everyone but 2 mcmuras to ashes. The two mcmuras did a swift slash attack on cam and while one was electrocuted the other survived and managed to stab cam’s heart out and end his electrical conductivity. Zach with all his salt began to fight against the remaining mcmura. The mcmura cut zach’s finger off and did some pierce damage to his left rib cage but the nunchuk dagger impaled mcmura to the point he had no life left in him. When all hope was lost, Andrew’s own Andersen decided to fight for his home and defeat zach. This Andersen had some common sense and could fight zach without a actual weapon and used his salt crystal claws and teeth to run zach down in the fight. Andersen thought it was time to finish the job and did a full lunge at Zach. This was a bad idea and Zach used his dagger to take out the adnersens left eye and his wii sword removed the andersens right arm. Andersen knew the only way he could win a fight at this point was to turn his enemy into an Andersen through the process of arming. When zach’s next dagger strike missed its mark, Andersen ducked under him and delivered the fatal bite into Zach’s calf. Andersen’s salt crystal teeth pierced the leg and delivered all of andersens salt into his bloodstream causing Zach to lose his mortal form and become a weakling Andersen that was so weak and inferior to man he could not fight. The fight was over finally and Andrew could have his house to himself again. This gave Jon one ally in his war on Adam. But he would need at least one more to create a good sized revolution. He heard of a man called Raheem who hated Adam more than any mcmura, man, Andersen, or reptilian alike. Jon and Andrew found his house and began to talk to Raheem there. Raheem had his own story of the betrayal he faced from Adam many years ago. His story began with “So you both hate Adam I see, well I shall confirm your hatred and salt towards the Adam after you hear my tale of how Adam betrayed me 20 years ago before he even came to power. It was when I was a senior and was doing a robotics project, that Adam offered assistance to me. The first day of our work was normal and Adam did most of the work. But the next day was horrible, and Adam slept in front of me as I used my energy to make that little robot out of legos. He slept and slept and I work harder each day. On the ninth day I had enough and yelled at Adam telling him to wake up. He woke up and I told him he was being a lazy, slimy little reptile man thing and he actually had to do the work in order to get credit. Adam sayed I was a useless human who’s purpose was to serve him as if I was a Andersen. That angered me and I said no man is lower than a freakin Andersen, no one except maybe lying ted and little marco. Adam was mad and hit me in the nose with his lizard tale. I slammed him in the stomach and he vomited a little. He tried to claw me but I kicked him you know where and dropped the box of legos on it. He cried louder than Ted Cruz will after he loses the nomination. He got all anderseny and ran. Later in the school day my teacher had me take outside with her in the hallway. She said that she got a call from the office that Andersen ate my father and turned my mother into a Andersen. From that day I wanted to slay the Adam for the biased prick that he was.”. Since Raheem wanted revenge for his family, Jon and Andrew did not have to do something in return for his support. All three of them left the town of Hopkinton and would not return for 100 years.




Pg31
We need a real army









Getting to the resistance city of Worcester is quite difficult. Red Rooster guards swarm the towns west of Hopkinton. Adam recently heard of the three-man alliance and was worried about their combined strength. Normally the guards would even be patrolling the forest route Jon and the others are taking. However today was a special day because there was bomb threats at all of the Adam public schools in the state (Adam who wants to have influence over the human race in the state decided that he should destroy all the old schools and build a new brand of schools centered around him and the rooster teeth channel. There are 70 grades in this school system lasting 2 years for each grade. The first 40 years are dedicated to watching, remembering, and reciting the dialogue of all rooster teeth videos ever made in a play. 10 years are dedicated to forced military service to being red roosters and the possible draft of every citizen if needed. By the age of 85 or so people start learning academics and this is why no one else ever revolted) and all of the kids were in lockdown. Adam puts his Andersen’s through a rigorous 6 month course in giving automated bomb threats to schools as drills in case any outsider attacks the school. All children every 8 years are given a IQ test in the Adam school. Adam was a fan of eugenics and he gave children a choice if they ever scored a “retardation” worthy grade. The child can either become sterile or they will be charged with a crime against the state of Adam. Adam would only give children a choice if they had blond hair and blue eyes. All the other kids would be crucified in the town square of where ever they came from and were placed upon route 9 on their crosses. Route 9 became the trail of the inferior for this reason and who were crucified there were known as eye sores to the human race and were doomed to a fate brought to them by the majestic and intelligent Adam Benicaiso. If the children, teens or who ever they were survived 9 days on the route 9 highway of inferiors, Adam would tell the person “Markiplier is………. a monster and you must be a reincarnation of him to live this long. There is only one death worthy for a mere animal such as yourself kid. Let my Andersen show you where the sinners go” and then the sacred rooster teeth/ screw attack ritual would begin. Adam would call for his subordinate Andersen called code name 543smoothdude32 and the Andersen would be ordered to eat the person whole while they were still tied to the cross. Jon, Andrew, and Raheem know it is too late to go back to their normal lives and are aware that if they are arrested this fate will happen to them. The red roosters at the bomb drills in the Adam schools were too occupied to search the forest and allowed the three to escape Adam’s province of Chicken Tooth and made their way to the city of Worcester. It is quite populated and all of its citizens hate the Adam regime. Andrew and Raheem were known for some time by the inhabitants of the city and were praised by the locals upon entering the city. Jon and the two others were in a hurry and found there way to the leader of the isolated city, President Justin Filzow to see what the next move should be. Jon said “I finally know how evil Adam is and want to step on that little lizard”. Justin responds with “we must be patient and need to have a disciplined military to fight the red roosters, and Andersen militias first. Also did you even consider how the populace of those Adam provinces hates us? If we are even going to stand a chance we need to wait a few years and unlock our inner coreans for goodness sake.”. Raheem very salty at this point adds “I can’t wait anymore. Justin you’re no president to me and you haven’t made any action to fight the Adam yet. Believe me I already know you’re a biased prick like Adam and I am sick of rulers who do not rule with a cast iron grip.”. Justin is not as furious as expected from Raheem’s rudeness and tells him for the first time “we need to go over something kid. I am your real father. That guy you thought was your father in Hopkinton was one of my service men who was sworn to guard you with his life which he did until that scaly, slimy, reptile, humanoid apelike creature, ate him in lukewarm blood.”. Raheem is saddened by this revelation and responds to his father Justin with “It is great to know one member of my family lives. You got the video of when I dropped the lego mindstorms box on Adam’s lizard balls back in the day right?”. Justin tells Raheem he does not know what the hell he is talking about but admits it seems funny. Raheem asks “is my mother really my mother?”. Justin tells Raheem that who he thought was his mother was just a another service man of Justin and that his mother was white”. Raheem is scared about this because he is obviously black and how did he turn out that way with two white parents. Justin reveals that Raheem is a miracle of nature and discovered a unknown secret of science. When two gay men (President Justin and his long time lover Jon Burns) ping the pong, black children can be born. Raheem is relieved he is not a test tube baby. Justin is bored with this conversation and gets to the point. He sets the plan with “Raheem you are obviously the one who is going to win us some serious victories in the beginning of this war so you need to know where to attack first. Before I can trust you with anything, I need to be sure it was actually worth me giving birth to you son and I have a little test for you. In the closet I keep a Andersen in there. If you can kill it without a weapon I have faith in you fighting the armies of the Adam.”. Raheem agrees and opens the door of the closet. There he finds a Andersen. The Andersen senses Raheem’s salt levels and it gets very salty. The Andersen jumps out of the closet and attacks Raheem. Raheem manages to get a grip on the Andersen’s shoulders and manages to rip the Andersen’s arms out of its socket. The Andersen begins to thrash around and bites off Raheem’s left ear. Raheem gets more salty than the Anderen and knocks the Andersen over, rips its left leg out of the socket and impales the bone through the Andersen’s heart effectively killing it. Raheem was impressed of his abilities and talked to his father Justin. Justin introduced Raheem to his husband Jon Burns. Raheem asks “which one of you is my mom technically just so I know”. Justin says “well son it is clear that I had you so that makes me a mother while Jon is your dad”. Raheem asks Jon how he met his mom. Jon says it was at a anti Adam riot in Westboro back in the day when both of them were throwing Molotov cocktails at red rooster guards and the andersens on leashes. Both of them had fun blowing up Adam’s guards. Adam at one point sent a message to the protesters. He said “Hey Andersen, can you believe that these people do not like rooster teeth shows and refuse to watch Godzilla vs Gamira? I can’t believe that Markiplier is…….. such a noob at Mario maker. I guess we need to call out the Andersens.”. The red rooster guards then let the andersens free and they started to eat the protesters. Adam personally showed up at the riot and strangled a 5 year old with his lizard tail. Jon Burns and Justin began to run from the Andersen’s. They both ran towards a alley. Both of them vowed that they would marry each other if they survived the Andersen horde (back then they didn’t do what they did now and never actually thought they would survive). But then a flash flood started in the area and the Andersen’s melted into the water. While at first both were scared that now they have to marry each other, after 5 days Jon Burns was all ready telling Justin that he was best woman he ever had. After this story was over Raheem was feeling sick to his stomach. Raheem then received his first task. There was a small shack near the outside of the city that had 5 red roosters and 2 patrol Andersens. They would be armed and none of the rebels have the skills to take them on. Raheem had to go in alone because Jon and Andrew need to travel the countryside to find recruits. Raheem found the little shack near the water. Raheem only had a small hand gun with him because he did not save enough money for something better. Raheem decides that the best way to open the shack is to light the door on fire so the inhabitants will run out. Raheem lights a match and throws it at the door. When the flames go inside the shack the red roosters run off of the door and raheem shoots 2 of them. The three remaining red roosters pull out their automatic machine guns and begin shooting and they let the two andersens free so they can attack. Raheem misses bullets and shoots another red rooster. The andersens get salty again and jump on Raheem and try to rip him apart with their teeth. Raheem uses both of his arms to hold a Andersen in place and manages to rip the Andersen’s head out of its socket. A bullet hits Raheem’s new plastic ear and hits the Red rooster.
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UnstoppableStreletsy
Continental Marine
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 2:04 am    Post subject:

Do you promise you ppl will read it and also note the post will be on the scale of 42 pages in microsoft word at a font of 22.
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Orwell
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 6:39 am    Post subject:

I'm done I am done with this thread! Abort! Abort! WHAT HAVE WE COME TO?
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roy1012
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 12:34 pm    Post subject:

RIP.
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caveman909
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Joined: 10 Jun 2010
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 1:22 pm    Post subject:

CANT HANDLE THE TROLLNESS ANYMORE
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Girafarig
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 4:14 pm    Post subject:

Told ya.
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UnstoppableStreletsy
Continental Marine
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 4:39 pm    Post subject:

k who actually read the story?
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Sindir
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 7:44 pm    Post subject:

I did... or at least the most, it was too crazy to read it all.
It´s kind of scary that you invest that much time in this nonsense Confused
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